Epics

Colonel Banryx · Guest

I know, I was surprised Ceyrox didn't know that was in Genesis. It's a little sad, actually. It's kinda obvious.

I thought the Piraka's humor is great. Greg did an awesome job with them.

Lord Storms · Posted: Sun Feb 15, 2009 3:39 am Post subject:

Yes, he did. He did well with everyone except the Barraki and Hahli.

It's just that Power Play didn't meet the expectations set up by Dark Destiny.
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And yes, I have yet to leave Cookieland!

General Ceyrox · Posted: Sun Feb 15, 2009 4:02 am Post subject:

Colonel Banryx · Guest

I already told you in real life. It's just sad.

Lord Storms · Posted: Sun Feb 15, 2009 1:40 pm Post subject:

That is sad.
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And yes, I have yet to leave Cookieland!

Colonel Banryx · Guest

Yup. Well, he's not very Christian. Nor am I VERY Christian, just enough to know the basics and believe in them.

General Ceyrox · Posted: Sun Feb 15, 2009 5:43 pm Post subject:

Lord Storms · Posted: Mon Feb 16, 2009 2:25 am Post subject:

Sorry, I didn't realize that you weren't particularly religious.
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And yes, I have yet to leave Cookieland!

Colonel Banryx · Guest

I still think it should be common knowledge for a person who calls himself Christian.

Lord Storms · Posted: Mon Feb 16, 2009 1:30 pm Post subject:

True.
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And yes, I have yet to leave Cookieland!

General Ceyrox · Posted: Tue Feb 17, 2009 1:41 am Post subject:

Well I plan on studying the bible when I'm older, but now I'm a teen, God will forgive me for not being 100% religious.
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Lord Storms · Posted: Tue Feb 17, 2009 1:53 am Post subject:

He will- if you're religious later on.

And honestly, I started studying the Bible when I was 9...
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And yes, I have yet to leave Cookieland!

Colonel Banryx · Guest

General Ceyrox · Posted: Tue Feb 17, 2009 1:56 am Post subject:

Well, I didn't really ask when you started studying the bible...
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Colonel Banryx · Guest

Abyss, your two weeks behind when you said you'd post your epic... sooooooo, where's your epic?

Dread Abyss · Posted: Sat Feb 28, 2009 3:27 am Post subject:

PROLOGUE

--The echoing murmurs coerced themselves throughout the meeting room. It had been two hours since the matoran had started arriving and they were growing impatient for their hosts. Matoran from all over Araya Nui had come to the meeting to hear of the very important announcement. Most of the matoran's eyes were on the platform with five chairs, and a long table in front of each of them. Next to the platform was a medium sized door large enough for even toa to walk through, it was there that the Elders of the island were to go through.
--The building they were gathered to was in fact quite luxurious and incredibly large to fit most of the matoran of Araya Nui. Despite the size of the building there were several matoran that were either late, such as the hosts of the meeting, or had decided not to come, such as most of the Onu-matoran.
--"How long do they expect us to wait?" asked one Ta-matoran.
--"As long as they feel like, they are the Elders!" responded the Ga-matoran next to him. Even though she believed what she said, it would've been better if they hadn't been late. However, as she was thinking about it the Elder's entrance door opened.
--There was a hush as almost all of the matoran's eyes turned to the door with eager expectance of the Elders arriving. However, only one came in. Like the other three matoran Elders he was a Ko-matoran and had less authority than the turaga of the island, the fifth Elder. He's a simple Ko-matoran: silent, precise, and smart.
--Though he had no ideas to help the island, he made good arguments when he was for or against an idea. His name is Kanei (kah-nii).
--"Matoran of Araya Nui," said Kanei, "I, along with the other Elders, am glad you have all gathered here on this apparently casual day. The other Elders will be here shortly, they needed to talk with two beings that will revolutionize our world." He paused and listened to the murmurs of the matoran, they seemed worried.
--"This meeting shall be short and precise, I will await for the other Elders to arrive before I address the agenda." He spoke calmly and quickly, though he didn’t appear to be looking at the matoran.
--"The two beings-"
--He was cut off by the matoran's murmurs again and it was starting to aggravate him.
--"The two beings may seem frightening in appearance, but they are to aid us. They have aided our island before, even though none of us know it, and they are willing to do it again. They are very powerful, but they are not violent and act like the toa-"
--This time he was cut off by the sound of the door next to him opening and three Ko-matoran, other Elders, arriving. They swiftly took their seats and looked to the door as the turaga of the island came through the door. Some matoran applauded, others grumbled about having to wait for so long. The turaga took his seat between the other Elders. All sounds were hushed as the turaga prepared to speak.
--"My apologies for our late arrival, however we had to go to another island in order to see if our guests are valid. They are known as makuta, beings entrusted by Mata Nui to create rahi."
--No one in the building besides the Elders knew what makuta were, but they were excited about the fact they made rahi. Araya Nui was known for the vast species of rahi and the matoran loved the rahi. The matoran eagerly listened to the turaga and hoped they could meet the fascinating "makuta".
--"I shall now tell you why this meeting was called. We did some research and found out makuta made rahi, so after some time we came into contact with two makuta. They stated they have not created any rahi on our island, but would be pleased to make new rahi for us. This meeting was called to see if the matoran of the island are willing to accept the makuta's offer, for this is a brilliant opportunity!"
--The matoran had no objections, except for a select few that were still thinking it over. Rahi could be used for delicious foods, excellent transportation, and as calming pets. The matoran of Araya Nui accepted the offer, as they were unaware of the dangers of rahi and the looming threat of the malicious makuta. Nor had they any idea of the malevolence and violence they were to experience.

Colonel Banryx · Guest

Cool intro.

Dread Abyss · Posted: Sat Feb 28, 2009 4:08 am Post subject:

Yay you actually like it!

I've been having troubles with how long it should be, but I finally decided this would work. Which is good because I haven't decided the names of the two makuta.
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"You say you feel so down/Everytime I turn around/You say you should've been gone by now
And you think that everything's wrong/You ask me how to carry on/We'll make it through another day just hold on"
—Elite Lord Abyss—
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Colonel Banryx · Guest

I'm disappointed, though, that it took you three weeks to write that. Sounds like a majorly slow epic, which will make people lose interest. Seriously, what is it that takes you so long?

General Ceyrox · Posted: Sat Feb 28, 2009 4:13 am Post subject:

I liked it. And isn't one of the Makuta's names Ksharn, or something. I like how it keeps your attention, even though there's no action. But I think the last line should be more ominous than "They had no idea of the malevolence and violence they were about to experience."
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Dread Abyss · Posted: Sat Feb 28, 2009 4:16 am Post subject:

Yeah, I've been having trouble of deciding what to do and how to write it. But now I'm in the groove so it should be getting along pretty quickly. One of my makuta is named Ksharn, but he's seperate from the other two. One's a crazed rahi maker and the other is similar to Krika. Yeah, the last sentence could've been better but it serves its point.
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"You say you feel so down/Everytime I turn around/You say you should've been gone by now
And you think that everything's wrong/You ask me how to carry on/We'll make it through another day just hold on"
—Elite Lord Abyss—
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General Ceyrox · Posted: Sat Feb 28, 2009 6:52 am Post subject:

Is that all you've posted on BZP, or have you posted chapter 1?
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Dread Abyss · Posted: Sat Feb 28, 2009 6:55 am Post subject:

I haven't posted it on Bzpower, I'm going to make a couple of minor tweaks, then I'll post it. I've got Chapter 1 done, but I'm a definately wary of it.
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"You say you feel so down/Everytime I turn around/You say you should've been gone by now
And you think that everything's wrong/You ask me how to carry on/We'll make it through another day just hold on"
—Elite Lord Abyss—
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General Ceyrox · Posted: Sat Feb 28, 2009 3:41 pm Post subject:

Oh. Well, you're never on BZP, sp what should I suspect. grumble grumble...
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Colonel Banryx · Guest

I think instead of the last sentence, you should put:

But if the matoran could see into the twisted mind of the Makuta, and get past all the ampt darkness, they would find something far more than malevolent. Death is a small word, when used, but it can really fill a Makuta's mind.